As a part of a new healthcare plan passed by the super-good United States government, pre-existing conditions will no…
An Actual List of Things I Have Done So I Could Put Off Writing My Essay That’s Due Tomorrow
My mom has been asking me to call an office on campus to make sure my FAFSA went through okay.…
Ever Since I Bought a Salt Lamp, I’ve Become a Math Genius and My Sex Life is Off the Charts!
I never thought buying a pink Himalayan salt lamp could change my life. In fact, I had laughed right in…
Upsetting New Study Finds that Majority of Snitches Can’t Even AFFORD to Get Stitches!
Just when you thought health care in America couldn’t get more wack, a new study was released that said almost,…
Area Woman Tired of Your Bullshit
Just when you thought you couldn’t annoy anybody else, you annoyed an area woman while you were grocery shopping this…
Wow! I Took a Two-Hour Long Nap and Trump’s STILL President?
When I went to take a nap this afternoon, I fully expected two things to happen by the time I…
Report: Mom Thinks You Should Keep An Eye On It
After calling your mother to get her opinion on a particular ailment that has been developing at a somewhat alarming…
A List of Things That White Nationalism Has In Common With A Yeast Infection
A public safety announcement. While deeply uncomfortable, many people will experience it during their lifetime. It’s awkward, but necessary, to…
Woman Reluctantly Agrees To Take Up Space
After mounting pressure from family and friends, local woman Lisa Williams has, albeit reluctantly, agreed to take up space. Like…
Bastard Who Never Replaces Toilet Paper Had It Coming
Sitting on the toilet with his pants at his ankles, Tom Hickerson cried out to the emptiness of his apartment…