As a part of a new healthcare plan passed by the super-good United States government, pre-existing conditions will no … More
An Actual List of Things I Have Done So I Could Put Off Writing My Essay That’s Due Tomorrow
My mom has been asking me to call an office on campus to make sure my FAFSA went through okay. … More
Ever Since I Bought a Salt Lamp, I’ve Become a Math Genius and My Sex Life is Off the Charts!
I never thought buying a pink Himalayan salt lamp could change my life. In fact, I had laughed right in … More
Upsetting New Study Finds that Majority of Snitches Can’t Even AFFORD to Get Stitches!
Just when you thought health care in America couldn’t get more wack, a new study was released that said almost, … More
Area Woman Tired of Your Bullshit
Just when you thought you couldn’t annoy anybody else, you annoyed an area woman while you were grocery shopping this … More
Wow! I Took a Two-Hour Long Nap and Trump’s STILL President?
When I went to take a nap this afternoon, I fully expected two things to happen by the time I … More
Report: Mom Thinks You Should Keep An Eye On It
After calling your mother to get her opinion on a particular ailment that has been developing at a somewhat alarming … More
A List of Things That White Nationalism Has In Common With A Yeast Infection
A public safety announcement. While deeply uncomfortable, many people will experience it during their lifetime. It’s awkward, but necessary, to … More
Woman Reluctantly Agrees To Take Up Space
After mounting pressure from family and friends, local woman Lisa Williams has, albeit reluctantly, agreed to take up space. Like … More
Bastard Who Never Replaces Toilet Paper Had It Coming
Sitting on the toilet with his pants at his ankles, Tom Hickerson cried out to the emptiness of his apartment … More