satire

Why Didn’t You Notice I Decided To Grow My Hair Out?

Hey, why didn’t you notice I decided to grow my hair out? Don’t you know how much thought goes into not making my usual appointment? How have you not noticed that my hair is about the same length it was when I got it cut last time? Listen, you know that these things take time. Just because the next time you see me my hair is going to look basically the same, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give me all of the compliments you’d feel obligated to dish out if I had cut my hair to my chin like I usually do when I need attention. Why should I be punished for my patience? I just feel as if you should sort of see the millimeter by millimeter change that’s going on, and tell me you understand that me and all of my strands of hair are going on a journey together. A journey to grow. A journey to deep-condition the hell out of those split ends until I actually do need to make the chop. But until I do get the haircut that I have recently decided to postpone indefinitely, won’t you just say that you noticed I decided to grow my hair out?

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