5 Questions I Had During The Presidential Debate

  1. Why do I feel the need to cross my legs when I see the GOP nominee waving his hands around?
  2. Can said GOP nominee tell us around what number “tremendous” signifies?
  3. Why does said Presidential candidate sound like something I would have written as a sophomore on my AP Gov test?
  4. Why do I KNOW he would have gotten, like, a 2, maximum?
  5. How soon would it take my parents to murder me if I talked to them like this?

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