satire

Schrödinger’s Boyfriend

Because sometimes you need a little quantum physics to figure out if you have a boyfriend or not.

Casey Williams, a junior at the local university, has been worried about her relationship with her boyfriend Ken for awhile now. “We’ve sort of been a thing for a few months, and I’m not sure what we are,” Williams said. She said she has been putting off defining the relationship out of fear that she won’t get the answer she wants.  “Right now, I’m living simultaneously with the possibility of  us seriously committing to each other and just going our own way,” she said. “It isn’t great, but I’m afraid I won’t like what I see when I check for this relationship’s pulse, you know?” Williams isn’t the only girl in the world with a potentially dead cat on her hands. It is reported that even today there are thousands and thousands of people who are too afraid to check whether or not they actually have a relationship. (Williams checked her phone to see if Ken had texted her back. He hadn’t. When she looked up, she seemed a little frazzled.) “I know I should check, I know I should check,” she said. “But right now this quantum superposition is all that’s getting me through!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s