satire

Boyfriend Tells Girlfriend He Was Just Kidding

After saying something serious that didn’t go over well, a boyfriend told his girlfriend that he was just kidding. He wasn’t going to say he was just kidding except she fell silent for several minutes after he said the serious thing he said and he was getting more and more nervous. Before he said he was just kidding, he asked her, “What, are you mad?” To which she replied in colorful language that yes, she was indeed very, very mad. She started to say something too–replying to the thing he had said seriously–but the boyfriend realized instinctively that the best time to backtrack would be at this point in the conversation before the conversation spiraled beyond his control. The boyfriend thought that the best way to retract his serious offense, and say he was just kidding, was by saying that the was just kidding loudly, and over and over again over his girlfriend trying to talk to him about the serious thing. After another long period of silence, he offered to buy her ice cream and things were looking better.

At press time, he had made another joke about the serious thing and she told him it was too soon. The girlfriend is currently telling her sister she’s thinking about ending things. Carl has absolutely no idea. 

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satire

Breaking: Local Girl With Doggy Filter Just Felt Like She Looked Cute In This Pic

In breaking local news, an area teen posted a picture of herself to multiple social media outlets in which she had a puppy dog face overlaid over her own, regular human face. According to trusted sources (her parents), the girl had gotten ready for the day and had felt sort of cute, but thought she would look cuter if she took a picture on Snapchat and used the puppy dog filter.

“I don’t know what about looking like a furry animal boosts my self-esteem, but it really does,” the girl confided to PTN sources.

Apparently the decision to post the photo of her face merged with a face of a dog’s was a difficult one.

“I want to be a little extra, but not too extra,” the girl said. “Not being anymore extra than I need to be is always something I have in the back of my mind when I’m making decisions that affect my brand like this.”

All in all, it took her nearly 30 minutes from when she took the picture to when she actually posted it on her various social media accounts.

At press time, she said her caption for her Insta post was “Just felt I looked cute in this pic!”

She added that if the post doesn’t reach 100 likes within an hour, she would strongly consider deleting it.